Rednecks are Funny!

Non-Redneck parents have their kids watch Barney on TV and sing along. Redneck parents give their kid a rifle and teach him to hunt and kill Barney.

Between the three of them, that probably took a whole bottle of hair spray. Between the hair and the clothing, I really hope this picture is from the 80s.

Child Services need to start taking this form of child abuse more seriously.

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama (AP) - Randy Williams was just like any other 6yr old Alabama country boy. He liked to play out in the mud by the creek in the family’s backyard with his little sister Mary Ellen.
 

Randy and Mary Ellen would spend hours wading through the muddy creek making mud pies and looking for frogs to torture. On one hot and humid day in August, 1995, the mosquitos were particularly bad and Mary Ellen decided to wander off into the woods to escape the flying bugs and play on the rusted out 1941 Chevrolet pickup truck that was half sunk into the ground and had trees growing out of it.
 

Randy didn’t know it at the time, but this was the last he would see of Mary Ellen until 12 yrs later. The family was worried at first but assumed Mary Ellen had been abducted by Aliens and would be safely returned like their oldest girl, Bobbi Jo.
 

Randy was devastated by Mary Ellen’s disappearance, and after a few months passed, he didn’t think he’d ever see his beloved sister again.
 

Then 12 yrs later, the family moved to a trailer park in Birmingham and fate would reunite the long lost siblings. A few trailers down lived a tatooed, chain smoking, heineken loving girl with a foul mouth and a much older motorcycle riding ex convict boyfriend.
 

Randy didn’t recognize the girl as his little sister at first, because she had changed so much and now went by the name Angel. At 14, Angel was the most popular stripper in town and was the major bread winner for the family. Every day she bought the whole family cigarettes and alcohol, mainly to keep them off her back so she could sneak out and ride with her boyfriend’s gang on the back of his Harley Davidson.
 

Angel didn’t know it but she had been kidnapped 12 yrs earlier by the father of the family who raised her when he wandered out into the woods drunk after his wife had kicked him out for having dead sperm and not being able to give her a baby. The father saw the little girl playin in the woods and took her back to his wife and told her that Jesus himself came down from heaven and gave him the little girl, which is why they named her Angel.
 

Randy first saw Angel when he was wandering around the trailer park with his new drinking buddies and she came out of her trailer to smoke a cigarette and wait for her boyfriend to pick her up. For Randy it was love at first sight. He thought she looked so sexy in her belly shirt and bare feet. At that moment, he made it his mission to woo her away from her ex con boyfriend by bringing her beer every day and impressing her with his shooting skills.
 

Eventually he did win her over and one day a few weeks later, Angel found out she was pregnant. She wasn’t sure if Randy was the father though because she did like to sleep around so she had a paternity test done and it was then that she found out Randy was not only the father but was also her bioligical brother. Instead of being repulsed and horrified by this, the two of them were ecstatic and view it was fate that they wound up together.
 

Today they have their own trailer and are raising their first little girl who they named Mary Ellen in honor of Angel’s former life. The couple plans on having at least 7 more kids and dream of one day owning their own double wide.
 

Fake News Stories is a new feature. Please leave some comments on whether it’s entertaining or stupid and if it’s a feature you’d like to see continued. If you have any ideas for fake news stories or would like to write some of your own for posting, please email BillyBob@rednecklaughs.com
 

Now Mama Redneck can go drink a 6 pack and watch tv in peace!

From the makers of “My First Hunting Gun”