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I don’t even know what this is. It looks like some sort of lemonade stand or circus cart but it has a front door! Is it a house!? A shed!? Why does it need a door?? Maybe it’s used to transport animals? I have no idea. Anyone know what this is??
A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “what’s the matter?”
The fellow replies, “well I’ve got these two horses (sniff,sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if I’m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods.”
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do. “Why don’t you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?”
The man stops crying and says, “that sounds like a good idea, I think I’ll try it.”
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. “What’s the matter now?” the bartender asks.
The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, “I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can’t tell them apart again!”
The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, “why don’t you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back.”
The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves. A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems. “I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and… it… it… grew back!”
The bartenter, now furious at the guy’s general stupidity, yells, “for crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!” The fellow can not believe what the bartender has said and storms out of the bar.
The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had just won the lottery.
“It worked, it worked!” he exclaims. “I measured the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!”
After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “Paw, What’s ‘at?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I dunno. I ain’t never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain’t got no idea’r what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Boy, go git yer Ma.”
In honor of the premiere of the Dark Knight, I present to you the Redneck Dark Knight…
Redneck Batman
His utility belt has a beer holder made from a duct tape roll! That’s perfect.
Redneck Batgirl
Wings made from an umbrella? Yah that’s redneck!
Redneck Bat Dog
Redneck Bat Horse
Country Batman uses a horse instead of a batmobile. This would have been better if the kid was dressed like batman instead of robin.
Redneck Batmobile
Homemade batwings and parked in a trailer park? That’s definitely the redneck batmobile. That car looks like the batmobile even without the homemade wings!
Redneck Batmobile #2
This is Redneck Batman’s ride when the other Batmobile breaks down. It doesn’t quite have the horsepower of the real redneck batmobile but it does have a back seat to accomodate other redneck superheros.
And finally, everyone’s favorite….
Redneck Joker
This is actually a real costume for sale at a costume store. It’s actually not on purpose that the “model” looks like a complete Hillbilly.
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