Rednecks are Funny!

Is the shirt really necessary? Doesn’t he just scream SEX to you ladies? That squished wrinkled face with white hair coming out everywhere has sex appeal written all over it.

More of the Redneck rollercoaster. This time Redneck Dave takes two girls for a ride. They do some forwards and backwards wheelies and almost run over their crazy barking dog multiple times again. I can’t believe this thing is driven from up in the bucket or that it recovers from those dips every time!

Duct tape some HVAC piping over your car A/C and point it towards the windshield to keep your window from fogging up. This has all the signatures of a Redneck invention: Lots of duct tape, and function over form. It aint pretty but it gets the job done.

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. “I know,” he said, “we can play, ‘Who’s Got the Biggest Pee Pee’”.
 
“How do you play that?” asked the redneck.
 
“It’s easy” said the Spanish boy, “we can play it next recess.”
 
So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. “Alright,” said the Spanish boy, “Lets play.”
 
The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner. And so the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy’s. As the redneck boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe.
 
“You win for sure,” they both said.
 
Later that day the redneck boy went home and his mother asked him, “So did you make any new friends today?”
 
“Yup. I played this game called ‘Who’s Got the Biggest Pee Pee’ and the other boys said I won because I’m a redneck.”
 
His mother laughed and replied, “No sweetie, you won because you’re 23.”

Oh the irony. Looks like these Rednecks need to go back to Shcool.

I’m surprised these Rednecks didn’t make a ride out of this and sit on top of the ATV as the car hurtled down the highway. Rednecks love to pretend their cars are trucks and strap anything they can find up on the roof for a safe transportation adventure.

Nothing’s gonna get in the way of getting those little Redneck kids to school because nothing’s more important to a Redneck than school! Looks like there will be no snow days for these kids.

This is actually a pretty good idea to make your own homemade hot tub. Just hook up some hose to a pump and pump your pool water through a wood burning furnace and you got yourself a makeshift hot tub. The only thing missing is the water jets, but I’m sure these Rednecks could rig somethin up for that too!

Find a giant hill. Dig a long ditch and/or build up slide walls with hay bales. Add massive amounts of tarp to form your slide. Begin pumping in water to the top of your slide. Get a running start and jump onto your very own homemade water slide!

Redneck Jesus passed around a plate of beef jerky and said “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” He then raised His Coors Light and said “This is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” So His Redneck Disciples ate the beef jerky and drank the beer before lighting up cigarettes and playing some poker.